It’s been a tough four days…

I’m on an emotional roller coaster. I go from sad, to angry, to determined and back again. I feel shock, dismay, disgust, hope, and despair all in one day. I tell myself this is not the end of the world but it is the end of my naive faith in humanity.

One of the results of this election that is most annoying me is the Trumpsters who tell us we need to “get over it”, “the people have spoken”, and we should “come together in unity and peace”. To these people, I say, “BULLSHIT”!

I’m working on “getting over it” when I plan to mobilize with groups who will never stop fighting hatred, racism, and injustice. As for “the people who have spoken”, my candidate won the popular vote so the majority of “the people” spoke for Hillary not Trump. Finally, the “come together in unity and peace” works both ways.

When you decide to get your heads out of your asses and start preaching peaceful unity to the people in your basket, maybe I’ll listen to you.

When you start preaching peace to those people who are harassing children in school with taunts of “you’re going back to Mexico”, maybe I’ll listen to you.

If you ever start preaching peace to your supporters who are going onto university campuses and spitting on Muslims and writing racial slurs on walls and whiteboards, maybe I’ll listen to you.

Should you ever start preaching peace to those animals who are assaulting gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgender people, maybe I’ll listen to you.

Until that time, I won’t listen to you because you are a hypocrite. You preach peace to those who disagree with you but you tolerate violence and hate within your own supporters. I’ll be watching. If you ever start acting the way you preach, I’ll start listening.

 

Stunned! Saddened!Incredulous!

I can’t say I never saw this coming. I warned many people that this could happen but I didn’t really believe it would. I had faith, apparently too much faith, that the citizens of the United States of America would reject hatred and lies.

Today I wake to what is being called a nightmare. I shake my head and ask myself how so many people could believe in what Trump was selling. I will never understand it and so, I know I must move on.

For my family, white, protestant, upper-middle class, this is not going to harm us too deeply. I worry about the future for my son as he is beginning his career but I trust in his intelligence and morality and believe he will be fine. We will hold one another close over the next four years and support one another through whatever will come.

My biggest worry is for those who are at the most risk under Trump’s America. The marginalized: women, people of color, the LGBT community, Muslims and those of any non-mainstream faith, those of no faith, immigrants and their families, the disabled, the poor and the middle-class. The future is full of foreboding and danger for these people.

I find myself asking, what can I do now? How can I help? How can I buffer these at-risk people from the hatred that may well rain down on them? How can I assure children that they are safe? How can I spread love and acceptance in the midst of hate and rejection?

No matter what happens to the 240-year-old experiment in Democracy that this United States has achieved. No matter what regressive laws we may have to deal with. No matter that our country has failed.

This is my mission.  I will not change who I am. I will continue to love and accept all people. I will spread love where there is hate. I will stand up for those being persecuted. I will not become a person that I despise.

I call all of my fellow citizens who believe in love, equality, and justice to join me.

 

Vote!!!

We have sixty-eight days to endure the current election cycle. Sixty-eight days to shout that “my candidate” is the best. Sixty-eight days to shake our heads and wonder how anyone can support “that candidate”.

I am passionate about many causes. Most fall under the category of justice. Justice for all races. Justice for all sexual orientation. Justice for all genders. Justice for children. Justice for victims of crime. Justice for criminals. Just justice!

Knowing that, you can probably guess that I’m a liberal. And I’m a proud liberal. I wouldn’t want to be anything else because it wouldn’t fit with my passion for justice.

We live in the greatest country on earth and it’s not because of the politicians, the 1%, the lobbyists, or the huge corporate machines. It’s because of all the others. The working people, the students, the parents and their children.  All of us.

I believe in my fellow citizens. I believe that most of the people of this country care about this country and their fellow human beings around the world. Those of us who work, study, raise a family, and love one another want our country to continue being the best in the world.

Right now, I feel another passion welling in my heart. It is a passion for my fellow American citizens to stand up and show the politicians, the 1%, the lobbyists, the huge corporate machines, and all who think they own our Democracy that we’re taking back our country.  Now is the time for the citizens of the United States of America to stand up and show the world who we are and what we stand for. How do we do that?

We vote! We turn out. We show up. We make the effort. We take responsibility. We do our civic duty. We vote.

 

 

 

Feeling…

This post is specifically for me. I’m feeling anxious and stressed but I don’t really know why. So much of my life is awesome that I don’t feel I have any right to feel anything negative. So many people would trade places with me in a minute.

And yet, here I am feeling down. Feeling anxious. Feeling stressed.

Putting all of this into perspective might help.

My dear friend died on July 7th. I spent much of my time with her during the 18 months before her death. She was my priority. I don’t regret a single minute. I only regret I didn’t have more time.

My wonderful son graduated from college in May and received a great job offer with the U.S. Government (both his Dad and I are/were Federal employees) and just learned his start date will be October 17th. He now has to get an apartment, get moved,  and get set up to live in Northern Virginia. He is excited and we are excited for him.

This is my husband’s very busy and stressful time at work. He is an accountant and the end of the Federal Government fiscal year is challenging, at best. He works long hours and most days of the week. He deals with a heavy workload, changing requirements, unreasonable deadlines, and personnel issues. I try to do what I can to make life at home a little easier. I don’t think I hit the mark too often.

My best friend/sister has constant stress with her job, school, and a son who is an addict. I try to be supportive and positive for her. If ever there was someone who deserves a nervous breakdown, she is the one.

Lately, I don’t feel like my brain is working at top form. I’m forgetful and unmotivated. I have so many things I want and need to do but then I can’t get myself moving to do them. This causes me to feel like I’m not pulling my own weight in life.

So, looking back at what I’ve written, I see where I’m failing and know that this is what is causing my stress and anxiety. I’m not sure what to do about it except to try harder. I guess that’s all I can do…try harder.

 

Guilt…

Well, I’m not sure how to write about what I’m thinking but I feel a need to get it out.

I’m not posting this to get people to praise me or tell me what a wonderful friend/person I am. I’ve heard all of that and frankly find it embarrassing.

My dear friend died 3 1/2 weeks ago after a valiant fight against cancer. A fight she knew all along she wouldn’t win. I spent the past 15 months helping her with her fight. I took her to appointments; I picked up medication; I was her advocate with the doctor, nurses, and other medical personnel; I took her to chemo and brought drinks and snacks I thought she’d like; I spent time with her; we took a couple of great trips; I held her hand and told her I loved her. I say all of this just to give some background before sharing what is bothering me tonight.

Part of me feels I was a good friend…

But…

I keep thinking I should have done more. I should have been there more. I should have found more ways to spoil her. I should have fought harder for her. I should have made it better.

Is this feeling normal? Do other caregivers of ill or injured loved ones feel this way? How do I get over this guilt?

 

Can someone please answer me?

I have been following the current U.S. Presidential election process for many months now. I know who I am voting for and have known pretty much since before it began. I will vote Democrat until and unless the party devolves into something I can’t recognize and respect. Sort of like the Republican party has done.

That said, in the course of my perusing posts, articles, news feeds, and many other communications regarding the candidates, I have found myself asking one question over and over again. When I read that Hillary Clinton is a liar and is corrupt and is bought and sold, I ask prove it. Well, not exactly like that. I say, “please give me one specific example with factual evidence of when she has lied” (or “that proves her corrupt”)(or “of who has bought and sold her”). Just one piece of factual evidence. Please.

So far, I have not had one single response. And still, that is the argument I hear against her over and over again.

Now, if the table were turned and someone who supports Trump asked me for the same evidence of dishonesty and corruption, I’d have trouble narrowing the factual evidence down to just one. And that is another thing that confuses me.

The same people who are demanding Hillary be “locked up” for whatever it is she’s done, have no concern when forced to face the long history of Trump dishonesty and downright criminal activity. Sometimes, I think my head is going to explode trying to mesh these positions into one valid argument.

Heck, even Donald Trump himself couldn’t do it. When asked why it was wrong for Hillary to back the invasion into Iraq but okay for Pence to do the same, he had no answer. Well, he answered but as usual, what he said made no sense.

So, here I am, trying to focus on what is important about this election but constantly being pulled into a vortex of nonsense and misinformation (read lies).

Now, just because I’m a crazy optimist and still hoping for an answer:

Can someone please tell me, citing specific facts, when Hillary has lied, been corrupted, and/or bought and sold.

While I’m asking, can someone explain to me why it’s okay for Donald Trump to be dishonest, corrupt, and hateful?

I’m just asking!

Vote No to Hatred!

Well, it’s been a little while since I last posted. Things have been pretty busy and I needed time to process.

Most importantly, my dear, dear friend died. She fought the cancer as hard and as long as she could. This despite knowing that she could not win the battle. She endured tests, chemo, nausea and vomiting, weight-loss, hair loss, and so many other burdens. She did it because she is a fighter and she loved her son so much she wanted as much time as she could wring from life. When she left this earth, it was a peaceful passing with her son and I by her side. I will miss her intelligence, wit, spunk, humor, honesty, and friendship. Rest in peace, my dear friend.

Now, while I dealt with caring for and attending to my friend’s memorial, the world has gone crazier and crazier.

First, I’m faced with Donald Trump as the real candidate supported by the Republican Party. Now, I long ago lost respect for the Republican Party for a lot of valid reason. Their policies against women, minorities, the LGBT community, the lower and middle class of our country, and on and on. But, honestly, I never dreamed this Party, with so much historical value and integrity, would degenerate to the point of nominating a candidate with no experience, no relative education, no valid policies, no respect for most of the citizens of the U.S. How? How did this happen?

I’ve been told it’s because the GOP jumped into bed with the religious zealots. It does seem that much of the hate and marginalizing of much of the U.S. population stems from that. Yet, I still find myself completely surprised that they’ve gone this far.

Now, I’m sitting with friends and family having conversations that are probably very like those in many homes in Germany, Austria, Czechoslovakia, Poland, Denmark, Belgium, Norway, Holland, France, and so many more. I’m arguing that this madman is a threat to our way of life. That he can manufacture a reason to declare martial law and suspend our rights. That he can eliminate anyone who refuses to follow his orders and ideals.

Of course, most people tell me that it can’t happen in the U.S.A. There’s just no way, they say. And my response? Yes, that’s what all those people in Europe said in 1934, 35, 36, 37, and 38.

I pray that my fellow citizens rise up and vote NO! No to the GOP candidate and platform of hate and discrimination. No to ignoring our Constitution and history. No to Donald Trump and all his ignorance, hatred, and divisiveness.