Grief

Is there anything else like grief? It’s so unique to each person and yet we each share so many of the same feelings. Our sorrow, our sense of loss, our fear that the pain will go on and on seems universal. Then there are the extremely personal and unique feelings of shock, guilt, relief, and more that no one else can comprehend.

How, then, can we be supportive and comforting to those who are struggling, working, or even drowning in grief? There are so many ways to make the grieving feel worse and it seems so easy to blunder into error and injury. Yet, saying and doing nothing feels like cowardly behavior.

So often I’ve heard, “I want to help but I just don’t know what to do”. My suggestion is, to look around and see what needs doing. Is there laundry waiting? Are there dirty dishes sitting in the sink? Ask if you can run some errands. Or, listen to what’s being said. Has the grieving person mentioned needing help with something?

They are often facing life changing circumstances. Financial obligations may be mounting, housing needs maybe changing, children may need extra attention. There are many things that arise after the death of a family member. If you listen, you can probably hear the grieving talk about the multiple of worries they are facing. From that you can find ways to help.

You can always say, “I don’t know what to say or do but I want to help. I’m here. I’ll just sit with you.” Sometimes, that’s all they need right then.